Dealing with chaos

In most creative projects, and certainly in a painting, there comes a moment when you want to give up. It looks like a mess, you're tired and wonder why you started.

I think for all of the cast of No Fixed Abode, today was that extended moment. There was a lot to cover in our storyline which has a dozen scenes. We have to block out the moves even if some of the dialogue is improvised. Somehow the energy wasn't quite there although the play itself was taking shape.

Hayley, who is just 17, is the protagonist and consequently appears in nearly every scene. She loves drama but this is demanding and she was feeling the pressure today. Nonetheless she's beginning to get to grips with her pivotal character.

I'm in almost as many scenes and with a heavy cold was struggling. And unlike everyone else, because I am also filming I get the to look at myself when reviewing the film. It was not an enjoyable experience and it's hard not to wish I had stayed on the sidelines.

I am hoping that like that difficult time with a painting, sticking with it pays dividends and something interesting eventually appears from the chaos. With the performances on Wednesday, some hard work is going to be needed tomorrow. Anybody got a good cure for a cold?

I suspect the adrenaline of people watching may have to be the emergency tonic.

Something gives

Something had to give and it has. My idea of being able to draw as well as photograph and film was always rather optimistic, and now there’s no chance as I prepare for my first entrance as an actor. So the drawing, apart from this exhausted effort here, will have to wait until after the performances on Wednesday.

But I am still running a virtual film in my head of the other actors which I'll use later in the quiet of my studio. We are establishing deep connections and a shared experience that I know will make for some special memories, and I hope evenutally meaningful art. 

Sheldon lights the way

Sheldon has a megawatt smile that radiates warmth and quick humour. At fourteen, she is the youngest in the cast but one of the sharpest.

She was way ahead of everyone with ideas and suggestions for a storyline some of us were plotting out last week. It's good to be kept on your toes and smart teenagers like Sheldon are great at that. Life has been hard for her lately but she's tough,  and is rapidly developing her performance skills with the encouragement of Terry and her team.

Sheldon would be a tremendous addition to The Core's youth theatre group and I know the multi-talented Rachel who runs it would love her vitality and intelligence. I hope they will get the chance to meet today as the youth sessions begin.

Not that Sheldon will be free to join in the first one, as along with her mother Carol, who is also in the No Fixed Abode production, we're all going to be under pressure with just two day to go. But with people like Sheldon and Carol in the group, it's a pleasure......although it is also beginning to be a bit scary as the reality of performing in public bites.

Expectations and imagination

Terry keeps Spike and Hayley moving and I miss my cue

It’s getting serious now. The show’s director Terry is pushing us. Time is not on our side.

It would be a big ask even for a professional theatre company to devise a play, rehearse, and perform it with just over a week’s preparation. But most of us have no - or very little - theatrical experience (and that includes me). And we have to give not just one, but three performances in a day - two to schools in the afternoon and one evening performance for the public.

Fortunately for us, we are in the capable hands of Terry and her two Cardboard Citizens’ assistants Ruby and Michael. Their confidence in us, even with this schedule, is unwavering as it has been from the start. There’s definitely a lesson here on the importance of expectations. Too often, it seems that our expectations (especially of people we have tagged with a label) is actually very low. They can’t or won’t be able to do it, we say to ourselves. So our failure and lack of faith becomes theirs.

This is in complete contrast to Terry’s attitude. As far as she was concerned we were actors as soon as we walked in the door. We just needed a helping hand to draw on our own resources and capabilities. And if you have ever felt uncreative for any reason, you can appreciate the discovery that actually, you can think and act imaginatively is a truly momentous event.

Our course we're not going to put on finely polished and crafted event because we're not professionals, but that's how it should be. This project is as much about the process as the end result - like so many creative endeavours. Our audience will see something real, hopefully something they can identify with, so they believe that they too have a voice, and can use it to move from being a spectator to coming on stage to as - in Boal's terms (see blog page) - a  spec-actor. 

"I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world"

- Albert Einstein

I join the frontline

I have written previously in this blog about the courage of the actors-in-training working on this production. The emotional risk it takes to speak out - especially when you are used to never being heard.

So when the director Terry said in the rehearsals "Keep an eye on the mother in this scene," I knew what was coming, and what my answer had to be.

I really wanted to say no. It would have been much easier to stay as an observer who joined in now and again. It's safer and I've had a lot of practise at hiding. But as soon as Terry said "Would you like to play the mother?," and the rest of the cast looked on, I knew that this was not the time for retreat.

Terry gives some advice

We are all now benefiting from the inspired guidance of the show's director Terry. It is a wonderful sight to watch her working with the actors and thinking through how to bring their stories to life, how to keep one step ahead of the audience. Here she's having a few words with Ross whose music mixing abilities are also going to be put to good use in the production.

Terry has worked all over the world on Forum Theatre productions with people from every walk of life. Her experience and knowledge of not only the theatre but life keeps us entertained, focussed and somewhat in awe.

"The stage belongs to everyone. We have given away the right to it to a select few. We need to claim it back," she says.  "Everyone is creative and if creativity is repressed or blocked because of our situation in life, it will come out in some way - usually negatively."

Her point is made by the contrasting positive effect this creative opportunity is having on her acting students. And I wish, again, that creativity was better understood and integrated into our society and especially our schools. Internationally-renowned education and creativity expert Sir Ken Robinson puts it brilliantly in this great video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDZFcDGpL4U.

He's got it

Some people just naturally have so called ‘stage presence’. There’s just something about them that draws the eye. Tony is like that.

He’s also very funny. “God’s plan for me was a bit long-winded,” he says, before telling us that his recent foray into further education, in the form of an Open University religious studies course, did not resolve his atheism. 

“I’m a philosopher,” he adds. “And I’m currently re-structuring my life.” This is taking a bit of doing but having just found and made a decent play to stay helps. And his diverse previous lives have given him a lot of skills to go along with a keen intelligence. 

A fully qualified gamekeeper, Tony has managed a shop-fitting business and pet import and export firm. He’s also a carpenter and heavy machine driver. There’s much more but we get diverted onto his stories of testing the mettle of his religious studies tutor. 

“I can’t have been that irritating because he wrote to tell me the class was boring without me,” he laughs. 

You’ll spot Tony if you see him on stage. Guaranteed.

Tickling scenarios

Danger and opportunity. That’s what the word crisis means in Chinese, according to Terry O’Leary, No Fixed Abode’s director.

And it’s apparently what the newly-minted actors will present at next Wednesday’s performances; problems which pose both a danger and an opportunity. The solution(s) will come from the audience.

Emergency, insecurity, risk, hazard, instability, menace, precariousness, jeopardy. All meaningful words to our actors familiar with the sharp edges of life. Opportunities and solutions have less resonance. But that’s why we’re here. 

The actors are tasked to come up with an image, a scenario: “How people become homeless”. Not surprisingly this doesn’t take long.

The desperate story of one young participant’s immersion in parental neglect and violence is soon co-opted. She is upset remembering what happened but as her experience is merged into others, and she can replay it in a different way, she recovers. Her strength and determination to move on is truly impressive.

Terry is pleased we have “tickled out a couple of scenarios” as she put it about how people find themselves on the cusp of a crisis; the tricky boundary between danger and opportunity.

Relying on others

The girl was blindfolded. The room quiet as the thief considered how to snatch the keys under her chair. He edged closer trying to hide even his breathing as he loomed over her. Suddenly, the floor creaked noisily in the silence and it was over.

Yes, it was another game on a morning’s training generally focussed on improving our awareness of our fellow actors and the theatrical space. We imitated each other’s walk, followed sounds made by a partner and allowed ourselves to be directed, with our eyes shut, around the room with just touches to the shoulders and head.

Hayley who at 16 wants to leave Corby for a fresh start elsewhere found it difficult initially to allow herself to be ‘controlled’ by her partner Chim. “It was difficult to trust her,” she said. All six foot plus of ex-guardsman Spike, in contrast, clearly enjoyed being propelled around the room by Michael, an actor/ambassador with Cardboard Citizens. “I was quite comfortable with it,” he said.

“It’s nice to rely on someone else, isn’t it?” asked our production director Terry at the conclusion of the morning’s games. Heads nodded in agreement. It was, nice. In the end.

Playing games

Here's a quick flavour of the games that play such a major part in any Forum Theatre production. These are from the second day's training at the Corby Cube.

Labels again

I am having a problem. And it’s about labels again (see first post). Someone has said to me that they want to know more about the participants in No Fixed Abode.

And I certainly want to reflect their views and experience in this blog not just mine. But we are all still getting to know each other... gently. I’m also suspicious about the question because I think the person is looking for a label and the tabloid scenario. You know the sort of thing. “Claire, 19, school dropout, alcoholic, self-harmer and now homeless”. Never mind the more complicated reality and history. 

Of course the participants know more than most about violence, drugs, alcohol, prison and the darker side of life than most people but it doesn’t define them. Actually maybe what does is that they have all suffered - for whatever reason. All of which means they have stories that are worth listening too and learning from. 

So that’s why I’m trying to do.  

A question of trust

So how did the first day go then? How does a group of total strangers begin a process where, with little or no previous experience, they eventually end up on stage putting on a partially improvised, interactive performance?

Well, what they need is some skills obviously but there’s something else equally if not more important. Trust. 

If the actors-in-training don’t trust themselves or each other then they will find it really hard to be authentic/believable on stage. But gaining someone’s trust usually takes time and we’ve only got a week. We need to make some deep connections and develop mutual understanding very quickly. And some of the participants have serious reasons not to trust anyone.

That’s why the games developed by Augusto Boal (see page tab) and used in the process for No Fixed Abode are so brilliant. Under the empathic direction of Cardboard Citizens’ Associate Artist Terry O’Leary we launch into a variety of games aimed at everything from helping us remember each other names to seeing what we might have in common (or not). The combination of the silly, yet occasionally quite intimate and profound games, helps rapidly breakdown the barriers we all sometimes get lodged behind.

I am also struck (again) by the importance of the physical. Our education, which is usually aimed at the neck up, does us all a disfavour.  The fact is, surely, thinking, feeling and doing involves not just the mind but also body. So our sound, movement and trust exercises all serve to improve the connection. As a result by the end of play (and that’s the word) we are, whatever our diverse backgrounds and ages, much, much more comfortable with each other.

“Brilliant. Knew it was a good idea to come out of my comfort zone,” says Tony, who tangled as he is in a complicated and difficult housing and life situation, is not kidding.

Materials matter

Forgot to post this little drawing I did last night. I used coloured pencils which most contemporary artists would consider really naff. And actually I think they are restrictive and not suited for much expressiveness but I was tired, in bed, and mostly thinking about colour. But I think the lesson for me, anyway, is don't use them. Ever.

Comfort zones

So yesterday was the first proper training session for No Fixed Abode.

I was didn't sleep much on Sunday winding myself up as I usually manage to do before a new project. It doesn't take much to make me anxious and not having a clue about how I was going to juggle participating in at least part of the training, as well as writing the blog and producing some kind of artwork (also undecided) was definitely enough to put paid to a restful night.

So I arrived strung out and nervous which was good because as far as I could tell all of us were outside our comfort zones to some degree. But at least I have been in The Corby Cube frequently before and I know (sort of) what we are trying to do, unlike most of the participants who have been scooped up from, in some cases, an extremely tough existence.

So I decide to stuff being an outsider for the first day at least. Sitting on the sidelines with a notebook and bits of paper is anyway against the spirit of Forum Theatre (on which No Fixed Abode is based) as it revolves around interaction and participation.

So we began.

But more of that in the next post when I find some clear reflection time.

Under threat

Thinking about being powerless

Just read that 7000 children were estimated to be homeless over Christmas and millions of people rely on credit to pay for their homes, according to Shelter http://england.shelter.org.uk/. Grim statistics in the current economic climate when so many jobs are under threat. Doesn't take much imagination to see just how easy it is to run into trouble.

Open spaces

Open spaces like a theatre stage or the outdoors often help prompt inspirational work - and so it proved today in Fermyn Woods, near Brigstock.

An exercise in mark making involving clay balls thrown from some distance; charcoal drawing using a long stick; burning paper, and a collage of natural materials produced some great work.

All done by some more artists-in-the-making- just like those starting on their training for No Fixed Abode next week. These teenagers were from William Knibb Complimentary Education Centre.

The workshop was part of series I was running with my artist colleague Liam Hadjipetrou in association with Fermynwoods Contemporary Art Centre http://www.fermynwoods.co.uk. 

The William Knibb teens are too young to take part in No Fixed Abode but we're hoping they can come to a performance and Lisa from The Core has kindly offered us some space for a special art/theatre workshop.